ALTARUL RAMMSTEIN
Posted: Wed Apr 28, 2010 8:54 pm
The Ten Commandments of Rammstein
Thou shalt follow these commandments, given to us by our Lords, our Saviours, ours of the holy righteous name Rammstein. We shalt not forget these commandments and follow them in our daily lives, to enrich and instruct others and ourselves, and remember to keep them holy.
1. Rammstein are six, and they are one. They alone shall we love and cherish. There are no other gods before Rammstein. Or after Rammstein. Or in the middle when you want a snack. Just them
2. Thou shalt not take Rammstein's names in vain - except when we do not get to listen to Rammstein, or view them in concert - both truly sad and horrible.
3. Remember Till's, Richard's, Paul's, Oliver's, Christoph's and Flake's birthdays, and keep them holy. And if Thou canst not get the days off, then tell them it is a holiday in thy religion. For Rammstein are the way, the truth and the light. And Holy Rammstein, they're awesome.
4.Honour thy Rammstein and convert the heathens. By Masturbating. A lot.
5. Thou shalt not kill the heathens. Just because they do not listen to Rammstein, it does not mean all of their music is crappy. And if thou feel'st the urge to punish a heathen, review commandment number four. In their face.
6.Thou shalt understand that while they are irresistible, sexy, hot, righteous, and holy, and perfect in every way, shape and form, that Rammstein are, too, in some ways, people. Thou shalt not harm thyself while going through massive orgasmic states in their holy name. While they are Gods, they are to be treated as equals and not sex objects.
7. Thou shalt not steal someone else's Rammstein goods. Go out and buy thy own, thou cheap bastard. Thou shalt support Rammstein and their holy name. Though only online.
8. Thou shalt not blame others for not understanding the path of Rammstein. They just do not understand that Rammstein are the way, the truth, and the light, and will bring forth ultimate happiness and epic bass. They condemn themselves through their ignorance, and thou shalt do all thou can to enlighten them. They need to be shown the Way. Review commandment number four.
9. Thou shalt not say that thou "own" Rammstein. For Rammstein are holy, righteous, HOT, SEXY, ORGASMIC, DROOL INDUCING PEICES OF HOLY HOT ASS... And many a Rammstein follower will want their sex. Remember that Rammstein love and cherish us - ALL of us. But mostly me.
10. Thou shalt listen to Rammstein at least three hours a day, and enrich thyself with holy righteousness. Thou shalt head-bang, Thou shalt bounce around, Thou shalt jiggle, Thou shalt make thyself look like an idiot while dancing to their music in their glorious name. We shall let others know that we love and cherish Rammstein and shall blast them from our open windows and giant headphones. We will spread the love that Rammstein gives to us and pray in their name, so that they may save and rescue us from all the other evil things in the world. Like gay pop songs.
So are the Commandments of Rammstein.
Thou shalt follow these commandments, given to us by our Lords, our Saviours, ours of the holy righteous name Rammstein. We shalt not forget these commandments and follow them in our daily lives, to enrich and instruct others and ourselves, and remember to keep them holy.
1. Rammstein are six, and they are one. They alone shall we love and cherish. There are no other gods before Rammstein. Or after Rammstein. Or in the middle when you want a snack. Just them
2. Thou shalt not take Rammstein's names in vain - except when we do not get to listen to Rammstein, or view them in concert - both truly sad and horrible.
3. Remember Till's, Richard's, Paul's, Oliver's, Christoph's and Flake's birthdays, and keep them holy. And if Thou canst not get the days off, then tell them it is a holiday in thy religion. For Rammstein are the way, the truth and the light. And Holy Rammstein, they're awesome.
4.Honour thy Rammstein and convert the heathens. By Masturbating. A lot.
5. Thou shalt not kill the heathens. Just because they do not listen to Rammstein, it does not mean all of their music is crappy. And if thou feel'st the urge to punish a heathen, review commandment number four. In their face.
6.Thou shalt understand that while they are irresistible, sexy, hot, righteous, and holy, and perfect in every way, shape and form, that Rammstein are, too, in some ways, people. Thou shalt not harm thyself while going through massive orgasmic states in their holy name. While they are Gods, they are to be treated as equals and not sex objects.
7. Thou shalt not steal someone else's Rammstein goods. Go out and buy thy own, thou cheap bastard. Thou shalt support Rammstein and their holy name. Though only online.
8. Thou shalt not blame others for not understanding the path of Rammstein. They just do not understand that Rammstein are the way, the truth, and the light, and will bring forth ultimate happiness and epic bass. They condemn themselves through their ignorance, and thou shalt do all thou can to enlighten them. They need to be shown the Way. Review commandment number four.
9. Thou shalt not say that thou "own" Rammstein. For Rammstein are holy, righteous, HOT, SEXY, ORGASMIC, DROOL INDUCING PEICES OF HOLY HOT ASS... And many a Rammstein follower will want their sex. Remember that Rammstein love and cherish us - ALL of us. But mostly me.
10. Thou shalt listen to Rammstein at least three hours a day, and enrich thyself with holy righteousness. Thou shalt head-bang, Thou shalt bounce around, Thou shalt jiggle, Thou shalt make thyself look like an idiot while dancing to their music in their glorious name. We shall let others know that we love and cherish Rammstein and shall blast them from our open windows and giant headphones. We will spread the love that Rammstein gives to us and pray in their name, so that they may save and rescue us from all the other evil things in the world. Like gay pop songs.
So are the Commandments of Rammstein.
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